An Open Letter To Adulterers

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There are approximately 56 million couples in America. 112 million men and women who were joined together as husband and wife to begin their own miniature civilizations.

That number represents about one third of this nation’s population. After reading a number of different statistics on various websites, and after discovering that an estimated 50% of marriages are being undermined (or maybe “mined”, as in blown apart) by adultery (emotional and/or sexual), I decided to write this letter to the 56 million or so people who have already had, or who are considering having, an adulterous affair.

Here it is.

An Open Letter To Adulterers.

Dear Mr. or Mrs. Adulterer, 

Although you probably envision yourself as a romantic, passionate lover, your decision to ignore your marriage covenant isn’t about romance or love. Adultery is not the steamy hot tryst Hollywood likes to portray. 

It is a real life killer of relationships, hopes, dreams, character, and, of course, trust. 

Adulterers aren’t lovers. They are murderers. “Affairs” don’t just happen. Neither does first degree murder.

I’m sure you don’t believe that about yourself.

How does cheating on your spouse make you anything but a selfish, out of control loser? How do you justify your feelings as love? Didn’t you “love” the person you married? Didn’t you promise to love, cherish, and protect your partner until you were separated by death?

You say you can’t live without your new found love. You’ve said that before. And just because your heart has become so hardened it can no longer distinguish between truth and lies doesn’t change the fact you are a liar, a cheater, and totally untrustworthy. 

If you won’t honor your vows to one, don’t think for a moment you will next time. And if your new “love” couldn’t keep their vows with the one they swore “until death do us part”, how can you honestly believe you’re the exception? That they’ll treat you differently?

Mr. and Mrs. Adulterer, will you stop fantasizing long enough to face some real facts of life? 

Fact – adultery isn’t simply a fling, an affair, a rendezvous, or even a one night stand. It isn’t merely an inappropriate touch, or a suggestive remark. 
It is an attack against your very own civilization; the very one you promised to protect. 

It’s as though you grabbed your spouse by the hair, threw them to the ground, and held them while your “lover” chopped off their head with a machete!

 

Adultery isn’t any nicer than ISIS. It’s just less bloody. 

 

Fact – adultery teaches a lesson to the next generation that it’s okay to be unfaithful. It’s alright to ignore vows and obey sensual desires. If it feels good, do it. After all, happiness is the main thing, isn’t it?

Is that what you want your children to learn?

Happiness is not the main thing, if in the process you must destroy others in order to have your way.

Fact – adultery is a lazy person’s way of dealing with marital problems. It’s kind of like a kid playing hooky from school because they can’t pass a test. They didn’t study for the test, didn’t pay attention in class; instead they spent the time daydreaming about playing outside with friends. So, they skip school rather than work on the lesson. 

So you have problems with your spouse. Yeah? And who doesn’t, at some point in their marriage? 

It might help if you quit looking out the classroom window, and began studying your lesson.

Fact – adultery doesn’t fix any problem. It never repairs relationship issues, it won’t cure sexual addictions, and it only mocks the ones who say they did it for the sake of love.

Rolling around on the bed of adultery is not an expression of love. It is the picture of a person who likes themself better than anyone else in their world. Even more than the person they are “making love” to. 

An adulterer does not understand love.

As I close, may I introduce you to a few timeless truths you may or may not have heard before? 

1. God avenges the one who has been cheated on. 1 Thessalonians 4:6

2. God blesses the marriage bed, but judges the sexually immoral and the adulterous. Hebrews 13:4

3. God sees you as an infidel, and one who’s denied the faith, if you won’t care for your own (which includes your spouse and kids). 1 Timothy 5:8

4. God will NOT grant you His peace as long as you’re rebelling against His will. He will not bless your hands while they are the hands of an adulterer. 

Maybe you’ve thought through all this rhetoric and still believe your happiness is all that matters. Your mind’s made up. Your course is set. 

Then have at it. 

But hopefully you’re re-examining your heart; remembering the sacred vows of yesterday. If so, it’s time to get up and out of the situation. Break it off, turn your back on it while you turn your face toward the ones who really matter. 

God. And the little civilization called your family. 

Sincerely,

Jan