Major Setback to Peace Process

Kerry

Major Setback to Peace Process

by J. Grace
Staff Reporter for Daily Planet

The Mideast Peace Process was dealt a major setback today, after Eglon Faht-mahn, king of Moab-Jordan, was brutally murdered by an Israeli terrorist.

Ban Ki-moon, current Secretary-General of the United Nations, openly condemned the attack and is meeting with the UN Security Council to determine whether economic sanctions or military action should be initiated against the nation of Israel.

The attack marks the 18th anniversary of Israel’s surrender to Moab-Jordan, after a short, but costly war.

The Honorable John Kerry, the United States’ Secretary of State, also condemned the attack; pledging both military and financial aid to the pacifistic nation of Moab-Jordan.

Said Kerry, “For 18 long years we’ve worked diligently on the Mideast peace process. Israel had finally submitted to subjugation. For 18 years the Moab-Jordan nation has watched over and even defended the Israeli people. Everlasting peace had finally come into view. And now some renegade Israeli Zionist, and his ruthless band of terrorists, have jeopardized everything. Terrorism will not be tolerated. Not in our nation. Not in our world.”

President Barak Obama, long time friend of King Eglon, eulogized the fallen leader. “Eglon Faht-mahn was a much loved leader. He had led his nation to where it had become one of the most prosperous nations in the region. He was a lover of peace; abhorring violence of any kind. Such a senseless and violent act of terrorism has cost the world a great leader, and an even greater man.”

According to the Moab-Jordan National Police, the terrorist group, Free Israel, has claimed responsibility for the murder of King Eglon. A world-wide manhunt for terrorist Ehud Ben Gera has been initiated. A coalition of UN peace keeping forces, as well as troops from Russia, the United States, France, and England are participating in the world-wide search.

Ehud Ben Gera is known to be left-handed, and exceptionally skilled in hand to hand combat. He was last seen organizing an army in the mountainous region of Ephraim.

A UN diplomat, speaking under the condition of anonymity said, “We had received reports of a spiritual awakening of sorts taking place in the little nation of Israel. There were no reports of the amassing or training of troops; only a greater emphasis on ‘crying out to the God of Israel’, as they put it. No one saw this act of rebellion as even remotely possible. We just can’t understand it. Praying people are always passive people. Praying people turn the other cheek and never stand up against anything or anyone.”

“The King’s private security police, the MJP Elite, had been warned of an imminent uprising, but failed to give the warning any credence. So when Ehud arrived at the King’s quarters, saying he had a special message from God, every one of the King’s elite left the room, walked to the break room, and turned on the TV to watch the Al Jazeera Newcast.”

“This is still anonymous, right? Okay. Because I really believe the God of Israel heard the cries of his people, and anointed Ehud to break the stronghold of the Moab-Jordan oppression. I’ve watched this sort of thing happen far too often. Israel forgets their God, and God gives them over to a cruel nation. When they repent and cry out to him, he raises up a deliverer. That’s exactly what happened here; regardless of how the media twists the truth.”

The UN liaison presently in Moab-Jordan reports that the Moab armies were completely routed in the area surrounding the Dead Sea, and it appears that within a few hours, Moab will have lost all territory west of the Jordan river and the Dead Sea.

Using the words of our anonymous source, “The best thing Moab can do is retreat and secure their borders east of the Dead Sea. If they don’t, it appears they will have to fight, not only Israel, but God himself.”

Yes, it would appear so.

Three questions: Is there any part of your life that has been overrun by the adversary, the devil? Have you tried to be strong in your own might and beat your spiritual enemy with human strength and ability? Have you tried submitting your life and situation to God FIRST, and then resist the devil?